My Three Weeks
by Shin-Kaname
Summary: what would you do if you only conditioned yourself that for three weeks you should see a change in yourself? would the three weeks be enough? Kurama x Botan... rating goes up in some few chapters
1. Default Chapter

"My three weeks"  
  
It's been a while since I came back from the states to study. It's been four long years since I last saw them. And may be its time for me to take a break, adult life is sinking in and when that starts, I won't get to see any of them. Life is more miserable than I have expected. These three weeks will be my hope. I'll cling in to these next three weeks. Just this chance to see some thing to change me. To change my life completely.  
  
Life was too dull. I was a bit shaken at first, but when you get used to it, it bores you. And suddenly whips out the best of you. Or maybe, for me, it imprisoned my true self and gave me a new fresh start. My human existence will probably be like a façade. A closure to the once horrible past I dwelt upon. But then, it's all over. I have chosen this illusion, this plot called human life.  
  
"Shuichi? My dear boy I missed you!" my mother hugged me fiercely. With her age, I can really sum that she's happy with him.  
  
Him. Yes. Him. The man responsible for me flying over a distant country. Responsible for the feeling of emptiness I feel now. The man, who reminds me of a vampire who greed for blood. Him, on the other hand a glutton for money and wealth. I was hoping after the wedding that he'd start showing his true colors in front of my mother. But not once did I catch him. By the way my mother smiles at me now, I can see how he truly cherishes her. With this I began to trust him. Even promised him my full responsibility in his business.  
  
"Onii-san!" Shuiichi greeted me formally. He had grown to be a diligent young man with an eye for exquisitely beautiful young women, as I took a fast glance at the young lady behind him.  
  
Well, my day didn't end there. I was hoping to get a long rest after my jet log but instead here I am wondering on how to buying off stocks from bankrupt stockholders. What the hell is happening? I'm void out from my own privacy. May be, this isn't a vacation. This is Japan after all.  
  
Japan, where it all started. This is my home. This is where it all started. This is where I got to see them. Them. My friends. Often times while writing a five page essay about stock analyzing, I often drift to the happy thoughts where we we're still together. And I often wonder where they are now? Are they still here? Several letters got to me while I was still in the states. Like, the wedding invitation for Yusuke and Keiko's wedding. Or to Genkai's funeral. How I wished to see all of them. Be there with them to laugh and cry with. And now, probably they're mad at me...  
  
The next day I decided to stroll around to get my pale and restless self for some sunshine. Then it came to me. Why not stop by the ramen house? I could use a little chat with the Urameshi couple.  
  
Just when I was about to cross the street to the restaurant, I heard a distinctive sound of a flying oar fast approaching. After several seconds, I duck and it flew past over me.  
  
It's her. I ran as fast as I could to reach her, until from a distance I saw her dismounting her oar and walks in to a small alley.  
  
After some time, I caught up to her and tapped her slowly at the back. Where she gave out a small screech that made me laugh. God I missed her voice.  
  
"Huh?!" she tried to know who I was, and just then she looked straight at my eyes with her light violet eyes.  
  
"Nani? Kurama-kun!! It's been a long time!! Gosh you didn't change!!" Botan gaped at me then looked away... is she embarrassed? I didn't know.  
  
"Really now? For a 500 more years old deity you didn't change at all!!" I joked around, that made her chuckle a bit.  
  
After some several puppy eyes, she agreed to have some ice cream with me. She just drops by the hospital to check Keiko, who just had a delivery yesterday. She even told me that it's Yusuke's second girl. With this news, I grinned evilly to myself, Yusuke doesn't waste time!  
  
We wandered off back to the park where I started my day, we shared some few talks and she decided to go back to Reikai.  
  
"Hey, wanna come?" she asked me with a whisper. She really didn't change a bit.  
  
"Where?" I replied back with a goofy expression. Trying to make her laugh again.  
  
"To Reikai! Koenma-sama would really like to see you and someone wants to see you too..." she whispered with a wink. Who ever that someone was, it made me curious.  
  
When was the last time I went here? I didn't know. It's been a while, I wouldn't call it finally reached peace, but surely it's a good thing the three realms are doing well with out any war. With me back here in Reikai, I remember our missions and the first time I become a Reikai Tantei.  
  
And here I am back here again. We finally stopped by in front of a huge double door. She winks at me again and opened it.  
  
"Koenma-sama!!!!!" she greeted her employer jovially, that gave him the shock of his life. Does he even get used to this? Botan probably does this to him every time but...  
  
I abruptly ended my musings as a soft hand guided me inside. I smiled warmly to myself; her small gestures never cease to amaze me. As she guide me towards the end of the room, where I get to slowly unveil a little silhouette of a boy.  
  
"Kurama? It's been a long time!!" Koenma greeted me as he jumps down from his chair and stood and approached me.  
  
"Botan, why won't you fetch her and tell her who came to visit." Koenma ordered her.  
  
Her? The someone Botan was talking about is a she? Who could it be? I wonder.  
  
"So, Kurama-kun..." Koenma startled me as I slightly shocked myself from the realization that he has change into his adult form.  
  
I gave him a questioning look to urge him to continue, from the sound of his voice I can tell this is something important.  
  
"You've been doing well being a ningen?" He asked will looking at me observantly.  
  
Doing well. Hmmmm... if he's talking about my financial status, then I am, I tried to ask him specifically what actually meant that... but wouldn't count on Koenma to tell me what I want him to ask. Am I happy being a ningen?  
  
"Probably, I'm contented." I replied, cautiously picking out the words.  
  
"Then, you're ready to choose?" Koenma asked back.  
  
Am I? I remember he asked me the same thing before I went to the states.  
  
-@@@-  
  
"I'm not ready to choose yet Koenma." I replied with irritation.  
  
"That's fine Kurama-kun. I'm not forcing you to answer this." Koenma replied giving me encouragement.  
  
"I can't choose right away if I'll accept my Humanity and turn my back on what I am." I said to him seriously.  
  
With a smile, he slowly nods and waves his good bye.  
  
-@@@-  
  
"Can you ask me this when I reach my 70th birthday?" I jokingly replied, giving him a light chuckle before he replied.  
  
"Then wouldn't be weird that you still look like 50 years younger?" Koenma half laughingly replied.  
  
Yes, probably it is true. I still am Youko Kurama, not a ningen that age.  
  
"May be before I go back to the states I'll tell you my answer." I replied as we finally approached our destination.  
  
"Well it better be longer... Botan wishes to see all of you in her wedding." Koenma startled me with the news. Botan getting married?  
  
"To who?" I asked back, it pained me... but why? With this, Koenma answered me with a smile. And I knew whom he was pertaining to.  
  
We entered a garden, and couldn't help but smile. I can feel the plants around me giving me a warm welcome. It's strange to feel this again. I can see from where I'm standing Botan waving her hands urging us to come there. From where she stands I can make out a child like shadow sitting in the veranda beside her.  
  
"Genki-baasan." I respectfully bowed as we approached them.  
  
"It's been a long time isn't it?" Genkai replied with a smile as she made eye contact with me.  
  
Several hours pass by, and I decided to go home. Botan made it an effort to escort me back to Ningenkai to my home where I thought of a splendid idea.  
  
"Why not stay for dinner? I know Koenma wouldn't mind." I smiled encourage her to stay, he wouldn't of course! Why would he... he just made his point a while ago?  
  
"I'd love too. Why would he mind?" She replied with her cheery smile. Exactly what I knew she would say.  
  
I don't want to admit it, but this 'splendid idea' is a scheme for me to know what happened to everyone. It's a good thing no one's home this night, that made me realize...our family decided to have dinner together, and probably they got tired of waiting for me.  
  
Botan babbled non-stop. She had even got the chance to tell me about how Yusuke and Kuwabara fought over what would Keiko name her second baby. Shizuru had found out that the man behind the first tournament is still alive and they we're engaged, and are currently on a vacation. Kuwabara finally found out that Hiei is Yukina's big brother that made him gag of disgust for several hours.  
  
The dinner ended happily for her. But for me, it left me more questions. To admit the truth, not that I don't care about the others, but I was waiting for her to tell me about her engagement.  
  
"Well thanks for the dinner!" She bid me as she soars to the sky.  
  
Not that I mind her being engaged, but... I don't know I just feel weird. Maybe because, every single one of my friends had finally made a big turn on each of there lives. But did I make a big turn in my life? Is being able to graduate from college and run different businesses a big turn for me? I don't know. I just don't know. May be this three weeks will not change me... or is it?  
  
A/N Rating will go up with in chapters. Hope to have some reviews!! ^_^: 


	2. 2:confused

"My Three weeks"  
  
I groaned a lazy yawn before deciding to get up from bed. I didn't get enough sleep considering the jet log, business issues and not to mention the starling revelations I have learned that day. The biggest thing I really can't think of was how could a measly little news bug me all of the sudden?  
  
Botan's wedding. It bugged me so much that I have easily detected my sense of frustrations. Why did it bug me? I don't know. May be this three weeks will solve my anxieties.  
  
This. Three. Weeks. May be this was a bad idea; my stay here is not welcomed after all. I had heard from my brother that night that they waited for me for nearly three and a half hours. They tried to call me but I couldn't be reached. Well, how could they? I'm in Reikai!  
  
I forced myself to get up and head for the bathroom. I smiled to myself. My room didn't change a bit and I liked that. I always liked my privacy. One thing the Youko and me has in common. I braced myself to bathe under the cold shower. Mom had just reminded me that after four years, my shower wasn't fixed. Why? I don't know. I got downstairs while hearing a familiar laugh from the dining room.  
  
"Oh, Shuichi dear, Botan-san is here to see you." My mom greeted me, while handing out my pancakes.  
  
"Neeehao!" Botan greeted, as usual with her cheery expression.  
  
Her presence today, made it more and more confusing for me. What kind of fiancé would like his bride to eat breakfast in someone's house? May be Koenma. this was a clear reminder that he fully trusts Botan. Or, this means he fully trusts me?  
  
"Why are you here?" I asked her as I narrowed my eyes at her, menacingly. She probably knew I was joking, so why did I just saw her blush?  
  
It pleased me to no end with her reaction, if ever she was not engaged, I would not mind having something special with her.  
  
Not once did Yusuke and the others hinted that we were perfect for each other. Then why the hell didn't I try it out? I don't know. And may be, she got tired of waiting and settled for another. But come to think of it, maybe she was not waiting at all?  
  
"Ku-Shuichi-kun! Yusuke and the others would like to see you!" she hasted the correction.  
  
"Well, it's a good thing they remember me." I humored her.  
  
"C'mon now, Shuichi..." she replied, and I felt I disappoint her.  
  
I was very pleased that she had announced my arrival to the guys. And now, they are waiting for me. It may not look like a grand reunion, but it's worth it considering I'll be with my friends whole afternoon.  
  
We decided to stop by the pastries shop where I ordered their chocolate mousse special, the guys have always known me to buy them sweet expensive treats, since they always were trying to urge me on buying them. While waiting, I glanced at Botan, I can perfectly determine that she was observing something intently even with her back to me. I raised my brow in curiosity. I decided to walk towards her and in that time I wanted to hear her little shriek... but with what she was staring at...  
  
She was staring at a wedding cake. It figures. I thought. I can tell that she'll have this mental thought to tell Koenma to buy this at their wedding. She noticed my presence as she glanced at my direction. I smiled goofily.  
  
"What does a wedding cake taste like?" She asked me like a curious cat.  
  
"Cake? It depends on what flavor it is." I replied. It was a joke! I didn't intend to be mean.  
  
"Yeah right." She sighed at me.  
  
What was that all about? I want to laugh out loud but can't. I know I'd hurt her feelings. I don't know what happens in her mind every time but I had to admit she is a little klutzy sometimes. Yeah. Little klutzy but cute. With the pastry on my hands, we exited the pastry shop and continued on to the Urameshi residence. This is the first time I'll visit the couple and the others. The first time.  
  
"You didn't get what I said?" Botan spoke to me, while walking.  
  
"Huh?" I replied, this time I didn't act stupid at all. I am stupid. Here I am, just graduated from college with a very high degree, not understanding a word she says.  
  
"About the wedding cake?" She answered me irritated.  
  
"Right." I smiled at her apologetically. Would she mind to fill in the details?  
  
"What I meant was, what would it taste like on my wedding." She explained stuttering.  
  
"Would you like to know?" I replied sweetly. Is she trying to hurt me? Indirectly?  
  
What would it taste like? It's kinda confusing but I think I know what she wants... but to think of it... is their any difference between eating a cake on a friend's wedding and eating a cake on our wedding? ... Our? Now where the hell did that come from?  
  
"Perhaps." As she tore her eyes with mine. And for a while I noticed a slight streak of light pink decorated in her face.  
  
I thought of what she said. Perhaps? What would she think that? She IS going to be married to Koenma right? Come to think of it, I'd like to know what it tastes like on my wedding. It never crosses my mind to have someone walking down the isle with me. I did have some few dates when I was in the states, but never someone special. And now, I think of it, may be that's what I'm worried about. Having a wife. Having someone to share everything with. And for me, she has to be perfect. Like the woman beside me. I smiled at the thought.  
  
I rang the doorbell twice, until a young beautiful woman greeted me sweetly. She smiled at Botan first then turned to me.  
  
"Kurama-kun!" she greeted happily. Even though she had given birth, her little belly was still swollen. So as to not crush her with my hug I patted her back.  
  
She settled us inside, where I felt very warm and welcomed. My friends are all here. Kuwabara turned around to see me walking inside. He planted his arms on each of my shoulders and forced me to face him. And I braced myself for a tight bear hug. If I didn't raised both of my arms, the cake should've crushed.... Like my body.  
  
It's kinda awkward to realize that they were more pleased to see me than my own family. Or maybe, my family just wants me to settle down and have my own family.  
  
I reminded Kuwabara that I needed air to breathe. He quickly let go of me as I smiled at the young lady beside him.  
  
"Yukina. Nice to see you again." I greeted. Nothing changed, they we're still the same friends I had in the younger years. So then... why are they contented? And why am I not?  
  
I approached the kitchen where I saw Yusuke chopping up the vegetables needed for our lunch. I placed the pastry I brought inside the fridge.  
  
"It's not that long." He started, as I helped him taking of the strings off the celeries.  
  
"I know." I replied with a smile.  
  
"But we missed you." With that he looked at me intently and gave me a smile.  
  
"Right." I smiled. I admit those lines he said are very un-Yusuke of him, but I appreciated it.  
  
He stood beside me and violently pats me hard in the back. I didn't know if he wanted to fight with me or wants to play with me. Dangerously.  
  
The others gathered around us and we roared in for a laugh. I can hardly believe it's been only four years since I left here. I really missed this. Them.  
  
We all pitched in to make lunch. Us boys went out the backyard to take care of the grilling. While the girls remained in the kitchen.  
  
"So how's life there? Lonely eh?" Yusuke started a conversation.  
  
"I... well not bad." Actually this was an understatement, it was hell. I didn't felt lonely since I only thought on how to finish three 7-paged essays in one day.  
  
"Have you dated those foreigners?" Kuwabara winked at me, waiting for all my stories.  
  
"I had no time with dating." I replied. I hate it when they're picking on me.  
  
"Of course!! I heard women there are so liberal..." Kuwabara yet again hinted. What does he want to talk about anyways?  
  
But it is true. If I had free time, I try to go out with women my dorm mates set me up, and we always end up inside her bedroom. Not that I didn't want that to happen but for me I want it to be with someone I love and cherish. Sounds a bit far-fetched; since the person I want to be with, is getting married after all. And it disgust me to no end when my date wanted to do it in several animalistic positions, considering she was three years younger than me. The horrid thought.  
  
"Yes they are that's why I didn't." I replied. Kuwabara hasn't change at all.  
  
"Then, you wouldn't mind coming with us to this?" Yusuke asked me while wistfully waving tickets in front of my face.  
  
How could I've been so dumb? I shouldn't have taken this vacation a week earlier. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day... just great.  
  
"It would be great! I just brought these tickets the other day. Since I heard from Botan you're here." Yusuke grinned at me. He has something up his sleeves. And I know it.  
  
"And you expect me to go with someone you planned?" I asked him sarcastically. I know he'll do something like this. Who is it now?  
  
"She's not a someone. You could go out with Botan!" Yusuke pointed out as he playfully tugged me.  
  
"Botan? Should it be Koenma you're inviting here?" I pointed out immediately. This is preposterous, hooking me up with someone's fiancé? Are they trying to---  
  
"Koenma's not gonna like this." I added seriously. This not a joke.  
  
"No it's okay, he gave Botan a week off." Yusuke said wistfully. But that's not what I'm worried about.  
  
"Didn't you know about Botan and Koenma?" I asked them; probably they'll get the point.  
  
"Bah! We couldn't take Koenma off from his job with a second! And he doesn't like things like that. And besides that, Botan would love going with you." Kuwabara answered me with a devilish wink.  
  
"I'll think about it." I replied, not that there's something to think about. Tanaka-san finally decided to take care of the business and let me have fun for these three weeks. But, I don't want to come barge in someone's relationship and like in a famous movie ends, they still got together and leave the poor antagonist with his broken heart alone. I want to be the one who plays with the 'still got together' part. Like that would happen. I rolled my eyes with that thought.  
  
"Okay fine I'll go!" I said a bit annoyed at their stares. When I don't, they'll think something's up with me. Even if I do!  
  
A/N Well, what do you think? Why are they doing this to Kurama? Do they know about Botan and Koenma's wedding? Is Botan really getting married to Koenma? And does Botan know about this? Find out in the next chapters.... 


	3. Kitsune

My Three Weeks  
  
This is simply nuts! I didn't intend to cause trouble! This is not what I had planned. Are they planning to ruin me? What do they want to do?  
  
"The rice?" Botan asked again. I ended my musings and while passing the rice, I glared at her.  
  
"Here." I replied. She may think I'm mad at her or I'm in a bad mood, the hell what she thinks! It's all her fault.  
  
Her. Fault. My fault? Their fault? Who should be blamed for this? I don't know. But one thing's for sure; I have to keep track of myself and clear things up. I don't feel anything for her. And it clearly shows she has no feelings for me right? But what about her pick-up lines? Her gentle ministrations? What about that? I don't know. Maybe she's just being kind... gentle... sweet. And---  
  
"Daijobu, Kurama-kun?" and yet again, Botan manages to end my trail of thoughts.  
  
"I'm fine." I lied quickly as I filled my mouth with more than a spoonful of the normal serving.  
  
"Oi, Botan! Kurama has agreed to take you tomorrow." Yusuke hinted. Only making things worst...for me.  
  
She took a fast glance at me and if I could hear her whispers correctly she uttered a soft thank you.  
  
Thank you. What could be behind her words? Thank you for being a good friend? Thank you for letting me waste your precious time to come with me? Thank you for being so stupid to fill-in for Koenma? Or.. maybe.. thank you for being there? Whatever it is, it's probably a good sign. Since yet again I saw the usual light pink streak flush her face.  
  
After that complicated lunch, I decided to drop by the Armani shop to pick up my suit for tomorrow's dinner ball. I need to look good right? Not that I have a problem with that department. It's been a while since I went here, it's either I needed a suit for a business meeting Tanaka-san wanted me to attend or to a boring meeting with his moneymaking buddies.  
  
It's not that I mind going with Botan, but it's really confusing. I can clearly see what they're doing but the question is, why are they doing this? Don't they want Botan to be happy? Or they want so see me miserable? This is not good. Well, I may not solve this right away, so just for now I will just have to enjoy myself right?  
  
I remembered the last Valentine's party I went. I'm with some college friends, when they played a trick on me. I can't really say I didn't enjoy it. But I had this horrifying thought about these things.... This type of things. I hate women forcing their selves. Not that I really don't want it to happen but, call me stupid or anything but I really want to do 'it' to someone I really care about. and I don't mind pointing this out several times to anyone even if it means I'll live up to be called 'a virgin boy' or something like that. call me anything but what's the problem of getting control?  
  
"Sir?" the man in the store inquired, offering his help on choosing.  
  
He handed me his few selections and I went inside the changing room. And as usual, when I finished changing, he made it a point to tell me how ravishing and handsome I am and some pleasant words to talk me in buying them. As I picked up my wallet to pay for it, a slight streak of blue past by the store. And as quickly I paid for the suit and made a run to where she was. I just know it's her.  
  
"Botan-san?" I ran to her, she looked at me intently and tightly smiled. Now I know I was wrong when I glared at her.  
  
She didn't even budge. And I heard a slight humph from her as she continued walking. And now, she is getting back at me.  
  
"Sorry if I've been uptight okay?" I apologized, yes I admit I've been uptight but if she'll know the reason then maybe she'll understand? right?  
  
"What's wrong? Do you have a problem?" She asked me with concern. One minute she hates you then the other... she makes you feel warm... whatever she doing... it just felt right.  
  
"Can I talk about it with ca-- ice cream?" I smiled goofily, good thing I didn't slip up on inviting her for a cake... since I just remembered that's what we fought about awhile ago.  
  
"Triple chocolate fudge will do... and a root beer shake... you're forgiven." she replied cheerfully as she pats my back jokingly. The best thing about her is she's so easy to please... and yet... you still want to please her with the best you can... why? Because of what she'll say... I don't know why but it comforts me every time I please her and she'll tell me a soft thank you... or any gesture that pops out of her mind... which makes me more eager to please her... I want to know her reactions...  
  
We decided to go to dairy queens and as agreed I ordered her cravings.  
  
"So........." Botan rolled her eyes at me, while......... what is she doing? I asked myself and rewarded myself a chuckle.  
  
"What?" Botan asked, curling her brows curiously.  
  
"Not that it's funny but, your eating ice cream." I explained.  
  
This is the first time I saw her eating ice cream......... it's not really odd, but if I try to eat it......... not that it's weird but......... nah... you'll just don't get it.  
  
"Why do you care?" She replied annoyed. I don't care really but......... let me re-phrase that........ I DO care.............  
  
Can I face a fact that I really care about her? No!!  
  
"Nothing! And who said I care?" Ooops... I think I have said it to blandly... or did I?  
  
I think I saw her blush again? Damn it!! Why can't I even bring a camera to take this?  
  
"Right. So tell me................ what's that problem?" She asked me, turning her cute face to a serious one.  
  
I scooped a spoonful of ice cream and plunged it in my mouth and began saying my problem....... Nice one!! I congratulated myself.  
  
"Uhm.. you shree.. I lorve thirse girol thart.." As I ate and eat at the same time, I sounded uttering some gibberish prayers.  
  
(TT;)"Kurama, c'mon, I'm really serious!" she rolled her eyes to me and began explaining something I didn't expect she'll say.  
  
"Look, I know I'm not like Keiko or Shizuru that you can have a WISE AND A REALLY GOOD pep talk but, even though it's ME you're talking to......... I could TRY to help you know.........." She replied not looking directly at me.  
  
I gulp down the remaining ice cream in my mouth and stared at her. I didn't mind any brain freeze coming in......... Instead I didn't realize I was staring at her in such a strange way for a good... five minutes and so as a waving hand snapped me back to reality.  
  
"Are you okay?" She asked me as she realized that I have gotten into my senses.  
  
"I heard from the guys that you're so busy those past years about your Dad's business and school, you shouldn't push yourself to hard okay? Get some rest and listen to the radio or something......... and just lay back." She recommended, if it hadn't for the spoon she's been holding, I would've thought she's my doctor.  
  
"Yes, doctor I'll do that don't worry." I smiled warmly at her, and unrecognizably snake my hand to hers......... but.........  
  
"Mwahahahahahahahaha!!! What am I saying? Oh my gosh!! Look at the time well gotta go!! Thanks for the treat Ja!" She instantly excused herself and left me alone.........  
  
May be she noticed what I was going to do........ that's why she.......... Damn it!! I might as well take her advice!!  
  
I rewarded myself with a tall glass of iced tea and mom's good old chocolate cookies and dish out a whip cream with sprinkles on top. This is the life, and all I've got to do is turn on the stereo.........  
  
I scan my brother's collection of c.d.'s. and even though they are really great, I wasn't in the mood for linkin' park, evanescence... or in the mood for my mom and Hatanaka-san's oldies but goodies songs... So might as well listen to the sound of. SOLITUDE.  
  
*"You are so lame."  
  
I instantly coughed out the beverage I'm drinking, and focused on my 'guest'.  
  
*"It has been a very. Very. Long time isn't it?"  
  
"Yes, a very. Long. Time." I replied telepathically. He finally opened up.  
  
It has been a very long time since I conversed with him. Yes, the sly Kitsune who had been nearly giving me peace. and gave me back my sanity after giving up, trying to talk me into going back to our lair.  
  
*"You seem to have a really 'intriguing' problem right now."  
  
"What is so intriguing about it?"  
  
*"You've been having trouble getting to sleep lately. And I'm pretty pissed off that I am TOO."  
  
"What's new? I'm always like this. and strangely you never bothered about it... why now?"  
  
*"You know, You're not the only one living inside this. body. and as you know I can't sleep PEACEFULLY when you're frustrated. You've been like this since you came back here. so why not kick our sorry behind back to where 'we' came from?"  
  
"We got until three weeks. Just go back to sleep and let me solve this problem BY MYSELF."  
  
*"You didn't understand me right? I said I'm PISSED off. let me control you for once, then I'll show you-"  
  
"You're not wreaking havoc on my family. and friends. Not. Now. Until we go back to our lair."  
  
*"I'm tired of waiting for almost 25 years of your humanity to fade!! I miss having a woman slither under me!! I'm sick of keeping silent, when all you feel is this. lame feeling!!"  
  
"Then maybe you're better off waiting, than doing all you're frustrations here."  
  
*"I've been VERY. VERY. Patient. As you can see, then maybe, you will agree in my terms as I have with yours."  
  
"I'm listening."  
  
*"For so many years, in my whole life as a youkai, I had never brought about to think of having a MATE beside me. and I'm pretty sure, you are too."  
  
".."  
  
*"And I have never thought about someone so perfect for me. that she'll be more important than my own. life. And for my criteria. and yours, we are sure we want someone who is not a ningen right?"  
  
"Straight to the point? So you want me not to marry here? And spend time with you finding a mate. IN MAKAI?!"  
  
*"Of course not. Hn. I don't want someone to just get laid. But a MATE. You know what that means right? And we both get to feel Onnas from Makai. are really not satisfying. or to be exact. they're just too rough."  
  
"I dare you not too in---"  
  
*"Include our blue-haired ferry girl? Of course I'm talking about her. What ever you say. we BOTH want the same. You have grown in me. As I have in you. Right?"  
  
"This is insane! Can't you see she's getting married?!"  
  
*"That is exactly perfect right? I've not live up to be the legendary thief for nothing?"  
  
"And what if the feeling is not mutual?"  
  
*"I will not wait for your humanity to fade. If she can't be with you as both your ningen and my form. then forget about your ningen life and we'll be back to our peaceful lair."  
  
"Then let's go! C'mon, I dare you let's go back NOW!"  
  
*"I see that you're making it difficult for you and I. don't fool yourself Kurama."  
  
*"You got three weeks."  
  
"Kitsune?!"  
  
I can't believe this! Maybe. no. I'm here, I can't go back now. I just have to be prepared and be ready to go back to Makai. I'll never jeopardize my family and friends life. especially hers.  
  
A/N Sorry for the . late. late update. well. nothing much. if you want to be updated. please email me in or send me a message on friendster!! natsumi_shouji@yahoo.com 


	4. Chapter 4:Opening

Chapter 4:  
  
a/n sorry for the long updates... but now that school's over tadaah!! I'm here again... so here goes.  
  
----in love, never put yourself in a situation where you are not sure where you stand in a person's life......... never assume......... never expect......... so that if they drop you, you have enough strength to move on..........----  
  
It's really obvious to see that I get easily frustrated, considered that I got used to making long essays, term papers and thesis in five days tops........ but thought this time, it's really didn't make sense that I'm getting frustrated in things........such as these.  
  
I was also pretty impressed that the 'fox' got out of his reverie and offered his two cents. I'm impressed and amused.  
  
10:30 in the evening and I'm still not in the mood to sleep. i came scratching and turning in several position and sleep was still not visiting me. Maybe it's just that this is getting really serious......... I came to admit to myself that I'm......  
  
In love with her.  
  
I love her.  
  
Hn. This life is getting way more real than the reality of my life in Makai. I think this further discussion will lead me to death. Or much worse, to end up in an a asylum, in which I'll have her to myself in my mind forever.........  
  
But then, that's not a bad idea right?  
  
I'm really sorry for her....... maybe she's just a victim of my inadequate interaction with women. And this maybe just an illusion to release my frustrations.  
  
I gave myself a slight shrug and bolted out of bed and decided to change and went for a walk. Only to get face to face with the woman who should be blamed for all of this.  
  
"Botan?" I asked innocently, yeah as if I didn't know who she was in the first place.  
  
"Kurama-kun---"Botan asked flushed, and it seems to me she's not happy to see me, when I noticed after she looked at me she was a little bit, perplexed.  
  
"It's very late, it's not really advisable to stroll around the park." I replied, I was really lost for words. Her look at me was not really inviting. She was, as I look at it. Tired. I urged her that we sit on the bench behind us.  
  
"I'm having this problems.......... Heart problems." She admitted.  
  
No. is she adding MORE insult to my injury?!  
  
I would've been mad at her and walked in the opposite direction, but then even if I'm not Doctor Love, I'll try to help her. I'm still. Her friend. I gave her an inquiring look and urged her to continue.  
  
"You know the feeling that even thought the person you REALLY like didn't like you at all, but then you still continue to like that person......... have you ever got that feeling?" She asked me....  
  
I think I know the answer to that, but because of my trusty defense mechanism, I gave her a concerned smile and uttered an unbelieving NO.  
  
"Well, I'm having it right now." She smiled smugly and stared at the pavement.  
  
Me too. And I'm pretty much known who she is talking about. And the thing I can't understand is......... why the hell did Koenma even consider on marrying her if he didn't like her?!  
  
Women are not really that easy to decipher, and it's a little bit strange that Botan could be exuberant and sad in the same time. And the thought excited me—really.  
  
"It's a little bit queer to wish that everything will just go away and I'll have to keep him to myself forever." Botan added.  
  
My eyes bulged at her in utter astonishment of what she said, how could be that two persons, having in love at the same time... having the same thought but yet doesn't feel anything for each other....  
  
Well actually this is an understatement, considering that the feeling yet not mutual but considered one way.  
  
"Maybe it will be such an adventure if we could leave the world and be contented with each other and soar thought the sky with nothing else but the company of the other." Botan added – yet again.  
  
This time I remained speechless. For two REASONABLE reasons. One. This is the first time I've heard her be so....... As to put it Philosophical, considering that she might be a scattered brain klutzy cute--- okay I'm getting way to many adjectives--...... and to think that I'm thinking so foolishly about the person more important than my own immortal life. And I hope than whenever she gets to this state of being, I hope it involves a very important person. ME. Nobody else but me. Yes, I'm selfish. I've never been so selfish all my life. And for this century--- I'm glad I am.  
  
I have to laugh to myself of being so....... Dreamy. Like a teenage boy who feels like the first time he has ever been in love.  
  
Not a teenage however but....... It IS the first time.  
  
Two. 'We' part got to me, is she referring to the one she is currently with this night (preferably me... who else?) or she's in the dreamy state I've been for countless minutes, considering she's dreamy of another man... not me?  
  
"The thing is Botan, you could never assume what life will give in the end, this troubles--- you're faced with means that life has given you something to delve upon. And for that life trusts you to carry on the problem and look for a solution. You have the choice. Either you give up. Or you fight for what you believe." I replied, looking at the now startled Blue beauty beside me.  
  
"It's such a great feeling to be in love....... Have you ever had that feeling?" She asked back. Wait a minute she didn't even get to sink what I've said in her mind......... and now she's asking me?  
  
How will I answer the question?  
  
"Yes, I did... in fact I'm in love right now." I ended, She doesn't have to know anything. When time comes, I'll make her understand but for now... -now that she's still a fiancée for another, I'll just have to keep my mouth shut as to not to cause any damage...... regarding her. And me.  
  
I know from the look in her eyes that she wants me to open up. But I can't I just have no strength to open it up. Not a slight idea. No. I can't.  
  
So what do I call myself right now? A very unselfish person? A selfish person or a......  
  
*'A coward' And again the kitsune dishevels my thoughts.  
  
After a couple of I think hours, of utter silence, I ended the night with bidding her farewell, and watch her flew to the sky with her oar.  
  
Tomorrow's events will sure be a BIG step for me to have the move. But will I?  
  
a/n... so how was it? A little rusty eh? So, I need suggestions and stuff... encouragements so I could try to think over if I'll continue or not.... Okay? Thanks!! 


	5. chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
a/n okay... thanks for the review. I've been currently delving on the matters of reading other works........ so it pains me that I have neglected this fic of mine. Honestly, I'm currently reading Wuthering Heights. And as so much liked Heathcliff's 'likeable character'  
  
H E R E L I E S S H U I C H I M I N A M I N O  
  
D I E D O F H O R R I B L E G R I E F  
  
M A Y H I S S O R R O W F U L S O U L R E S T I N P E A C E  
  
That's a good way to die right? Considering the colorful events that happened earlier today.  
  
I buried myself relentlessly in the cold shower wishing I'd die of frost bite than to leave the care of my solitude. My room. I tried as much to wash my head of everything that happen today. And I don't care if I'll miss the delightful evening I have to spend with that........... woman.  
  
"Shuichi? You're going to be late you're picking up Maya at 8 and it's nearly time." My mom knocked several times.  
  
As I lazily approached the door, I replied a drowsily that I'll be done in a few minutes as I continued to dry my hair with my towel....... And can't help to remember what happen last morning, and did I deserve it?  
  
flashback  
  
I woke up early in the morning fresh and happy. I have decided. There is no harm of having a date with her...... and with that in mind, I can easily imagine the kitsune nodding in agreement. I propped myself up, and decided to give myself a rewarding hot spring bath with Yusuke and the gang before the evening starts. And I bet I'll have a LOT of useful information set for me—how excited I am.  
  
I've done a mental count on the money I should bring in case the gang will urge me (or most horridly---will torture me) to pay for them........ as I finished this, I went for the things I needed for the bath and imagined the contact of my skin on hot water – for the first time I came back here. I've also grown a bouquet of fresh white and red thorn less roses all packed and designed and ready to go. Sometimes it really amazes me that for just one night spend with her, I'll go all the way as to waste my energy and test my artistic skills in making this bouquet. That thought made me smile. I really loved her. Or so it seems until this illusion torments me no more, hopefully before her wedding.  
  
A sound of a frantic call from my mom, reached my ears. I hurried downstairs to see what happened. I reached the last step of the stairs, and saw Tanaka-san talking with his associate. As they said their goodbyes, I hurried to the door and looked at Tanaka-san with an inquiring look. He smiled at me.... Weirdly.  
  
"You remember Mr. Hajime right?" He began to ask, with which I replied with a nod.  
  
"He just informed me that his daughter is here and is currently staying at the Empire Continental Hotel. You remember Maya right?" And yet he asked again, I nodded and gave out a huge sigh.  
  
Who could ever forget that sly woman? That woman who has that exaggerated bedroom voice. Thought she's not that unpleasant to look at but she really pisses us—and the fox off. I can't believe that such a woman is permitted to live.  
  
I ended my musings, to get a hold of my father's last words.  
  
"—she has agreed to come with you to that Valentine's party tonight. Her father said you'll pick her up by eight." With that, I scramble to explain to him that I already am engaged with going out with somebody. And who said I asked her to come anyway?  
  
If my senses had became so crowded that morning, I would have shredded Tanaka-san to pieces, (well, he IS not my father so, why should I bother to be sorry?) only if my mom hadn't married him. I gave him a dirty look of hatred and anger only to be replied by a laugh.  
  
I quickly picked up my cell phone and informed Yusuke that I can't join them. And gave a fast run upstairs to my bedroom and brought out the flowers.  
  
No, I'm not letting that wench have these on her own comfort. With the looks of her, she doesn't deserve any. NO. ONE. DESERVES MY EFFORT. MY ENERGY. BUT HER. Besides, I can't tell that wench that I made these, she'll never believe it.  
  
I heard my mom's disagreement with Tanaka-san while I was coming downstairs. But the man didn't budge, he stood firm of his senseless decision and ended the discussion. Sometimes, I can't help be reminded that THIS is the man who made my kaa-san happy.  
  
Before I successfully approach the door without them knowing, mom hurried to catch up to me and asked where I was going.  
  
"I'll bring these to the person intended for." I replied, not making the slightest effort to turn around, I headed straight for the door and got out successfully, while hearing Tanaka-san bid me a good luck.  
  
I gave myself a deep inhale and walked down the Reikai Castle's hallway. And passed by a certain person that I'm currently irritated with.  
  
"It's half past lunch Kurama, why so early?" The Reikai prince greeted me, quite perplexed on why I stand in front of him, bringing flowers for---HIS fiancée on lunch time.  
  
"I need to see Botan." I urged, and with that serious tone, he hastily directed me to the library as he calls for her from her chambers.  
  
A few minutes passed by, until I heard light footsteps approaching the library.  
  
"Kurama? Is there something wrong?" She asked me worriedly, as she approached me.  
  
I stood up and we met halfway, I handed her the bouquet.  
  
"These are for you." I smiled gloomily. It can't be worse than anything than this!!  
  
"Thanks. They're wonderful. Thank you for making these for me." She smiled with a puzzled expression.  
  
"Look, I'm really sorry... but I can't escort you tonight." I abruptly stop my tirade when I saw her still posting a smile, with it seems tears brimming in her eyes.  
  
"Oh. That's fine it's alright really. I might as well force Koenma-sama to accompany me. Its fine don't worry about it. So is that all?" she asked back.  
  
"Yeah. I guess. I'm really sorry." I emphasized my apology. Thought it pains me to know she doesn't even care as to why I'm not going to be with her tonight.  
  
"It's fine Kurama, well, uhm..... I really have chores to do..... so..." She tried to excuse herself.  
  
"look, I didn't---"I tried also to retort but.  
  
"I said its fine Kurama. You can go now. Thank you for the flowers." She replied, turning around and left me alone in my misery.  
  
end flashback  
  
I carelessly put on the suite and didn't even glance at the mirror to look at myself. I quickly got the flowers Tanaka-san brought and exited my room.  
  
Tanaka-san insisted on taking the porche for that wench's ride and I was off to that hotel.  
  
What in the world is going to happen to me?!  
  
a/n so please have reviews. I need comments if I should continue. The plot will be revealed in the next chapter............ so if I don't get enough reviews, maybe my fic doesn't appeal to anybody and might as well pull it out.... 


	6. Indulged about the information

**Chapter 6: Indulge**  
  
_a/n a very long update, I know... my computer was just infected with a viru... okay like you care?! (-.-) anyways, thanks to the people who gave their shouts to this... thing I made. Anyways, I'd like to tell you guys that any raging rants and raves are really accepted... I would like to hear what you REALLY think of the story... and if you think it's not good enough, I'll pull it out. Promise...... I'd like to thank maya, yes, calling a woman a wench is not something kurama could call someone... you're right.  
_  
You know the feeling where you just want to hide yourself from everybody, when you know that everybody is counting on you?  
  
Well, I feel it right now. Considering that I'm a few gaits away from the ballroom, cradling this woman's arm. And even if I try myself to imagine that SHE is the one I'm with...... I squint my eyes and out pop Maya's 'seductive (as she calls it) smile', I shook my head of disagreement, Maya will never be compared to---  
  
"Oi, Ku--- Shuiichi!!" A loud call from behind disrupted my thoughts, and I silently thanked whoever heaven sent it is for saving me to have a solitude night ALONE with her.  
  
"OI, Yusuke!!" I replied, making a fast glance at the dashing man behind me and the beautiful young lady to his left...... and the---  
  
Goddess from his right...... far...... right.  
  
"You look splendid Shuiichi." Keiko's voice echoed through my ears but I didn't mind. SHE looks tantalizing.  
  
"Botan?" I inquired, yes as if I didn't notice her ... none to quickly...  
  
She looks really wonderful, her hair was down, blue locks cascading covering her bare back, her black turtle-neck gown splendidly flowing, shaping her curves......... and it looks like I want her...  
  
_'To be our mate?'_ And this yoko has to ruin my thoughts again.  
  
I completely got over my trance as I successfully dismissed the Yoko's thoughts in my head.  
  
And noticed that her loving fiancé is not around to escort her. I see that she's ---  
  
"Alone?" What the?!!!!! I was not supposed to say that out loud...... Kurama!! How stupid can you get!!!????  
  
"Yes, in fact I am." She replied dignified, considering that I made a very strong point... that she is!!!  
  
"Shuiichi, you're looking dashing tonight huh?" Yusuke saved and hugged me fiercely then whispered an irritating "Nice going, do continue to RUB it in Kurama..." then lets go, I looked at him apologetically.  
  
"Yes I'm starved come on let's go in!" I cheerfully exclaimed, trying to cover my mishap a while ago, while handing out the door. And can't help but smile to myself when I saw Maya's death sneer at me, considering that I didn't paved a way to introduce her. I smiled then got nervous as Botan passed by and looked, AGAIN she looked at me a bit perplexed...... why?  
  
We handed out our invitation and the waiter ushered us to our table. The waiter handed out the menu, and we ordered different dishes, considering that it was prepaid.  
  
"Sorry we're late guys!!" Kuwabara apologized, sporting on a khaki ensemble with Yukina formally dressed beside him.  
  
I smiled then sight heavily; I was hoping I'll get to have a long talk with them about everything. I really wanted an insight about the events that happened while I was far away, like how Yusuke with his boyish and stubbornness made a way to ask Keiko to marry him or how Kuwabara acted when Yukina finally told him that she loves him too. And how......... Koenma finally got to tell Botan he wanted to marry her.........  
  
With all this things in my mind I can't help but ask myself why I didn't even had a break and visit here now and then or give them a call every weekend and ask them how things are going on...... then maybe I'm the one----  
  
"Oi!! Minamino!!" A shout startled from behind......... can't I have a decent thought just for a minute?!  
  
"Genta Koujirou? Remember? We always get the same grades when we're still in grade school?" he urged, begging me to remember him.  
  
"Oh, yes!! I used to call you Geko right?!" I replied, half-laughing. Now I remember him!! I used to tease and fight with him a lot.  
  
Genta decided to sit with us, considering he's the owner of the whole hotel.  
  
I can't help to think......... that if his eyes could kill, as in literally, Botan would be dead by now. Am I jealous? I really don't know.  
  
After some time, the music starts to beat up and the dance hall was filled with partners, including......... Genta and Botan.  
  
"Maya? Would you mind if I borrow Ku—Shuiichi for a dance? I haven't seen him for a long time...." Keiko asked sweetly, that Maya replied with a nod.  
  
"Why did you do that to her?" Keiko started conversing while we're dancing.  
  
I replied with a confused look, "To Botan! Why did you ditch her in the last moment?" Keiko added making me think straight.  
  
"Why? You guys were the one who convinced me to go with her." I replied, as I did a mental thought of switching the ON button on my defense mechanism.  
  
"Don't you like her just a little bit?" Keiko asked again.........  
  
And again I looked at her confused, like her? Is she asking me if I like her?  
  
I LOVE HER!!  
  
"Well, who couldn't? She's a likable person." Yes, my defense mechanism is in 'on' mode.  
  
"And besides why are you so bothered by me 'ditching', as you call it, her?" Yes why are they so bothered? And I didn't plan this!  
  
"Because she LOVES you!! Kurama... don't you feel anything for her?" Keiko berated, it's weird to notice this now......... but it's as if she knows how I feel.........  
  
HOW I REALLY FEEL.  
  
"I don't like her. I—don't' love her." I replied, trying to dismiss her look at me.  
  
"Besides, she is getting married for heaven's sake Keiko!!" I added I'm so glad the music's too loud that we are the only ones hearing our conversation.  
  
"What?! Who's getting married? Where are you getting at Kurama?!"as it was Keiko's turn to get confused.  
  
We looked at each other in a both confused state............  
  
a/n how was it? Please DOOOOOOOOO review!! 


	7. chapter 7

Chapter 7:

a/n please, anything is well accepted… comments, suggestions, death threats and stuffs…

**_Keeping an aimless distance. Sitting in a chair dreaming of something far-fetched of getting but you feel it in your grasp… getting too deprived for your own good. Aimed but in the end maimed of the chance…. Shattered dreams… broken into pieces… cannot be put together… even so… no longer need too… take the chance… and fulfill another…_**

Here I am lying lazily in my room, having the delusion of putting my head between the blades of my ceiling fan and let it kill me. But of course, the realization that my other half is immortal and can't agree that we should die... I shook my head lightly and close my eyes… I need to get some sleep…

_ "Sheesh, Kurama you're so unbelievable!!" Yusuke yelled at me the morning after the ball. _

_ Considering that I bailed out of the dance, with some sort of tummy ache… and ditched Maya that I'm so pleased of doing that night… _

_ Though trying to shake the guilt that Geko, had the nerve of ditching Botan in place of escorting Maya back to her hotel. Yes. I admit it. I am unbelievable. Because instead of screaming for joy because of this new profound information… locking myself in my room, I stood aimlessly in our front porch, thinking that I should've made the move that night. _

_ "I heard the news from Keiko… Botan getting married?! O please Kurama!!" and again Yusuke added rolling his eyes at me._

_ I nodded silently and watched Yusuke's son playing in the sand. When will I have one of that?!_

_ "Keichi please no, don't eat that. So, Kurama what's your plan now huh?" Yusuke conversed. What is my plan?_

_ "I actually don't know… actually I don't really have a plan… and why should I have a plan anyways? I mean… C'mon my vacation's over in a week… I really don't have to do anything." I replied passively… as if I don't care…_

_ "Well I think that's a great idea! Really, and then the irony will be Botan and Koenma getting married!" Yusuke replies, making a huge sigh._

_ "Kurama, you know that I loved Keiko since we were in high school, and you know how I felt about her… in a way that it shows… ?!" Yusuke tries to explain, scratching his head._

_ "Let's put it this way, even if I don't show it, you guys have always notice how much Keiko means to me… and for the record I have shown that a million times right?" he continued as I nodded of agreement._

_ "Well, seriously Kurama its kinda showing in you… well in other words, the things… Kurama, in any case, your in love with her… don't deny it Kurama, all of us knows… and all of us are just waiting…" Yusuke ended, waiting for my answer._

_ "Like I said, Yusuke… I have no plan. No plan at all." I replied indifferently._

_ "Then, okay. I can't change that can I?" Yusuke replied releasing a heavy sigh stood up and approaches his child. _

"Like I said I have no plan of insisting myself to her…" I pushed that early fiasco out of my head over and over again but can't. I just can't…

**_ I'n here without you baby…_**

**_ But you're still on my lonely mind…_**

**_ I think about you baby…_**

**_ And I dream about you all the time…_**

**_ I'm here without you baby…_**

**_ But you're still with me in my dreams…_**

**_ And tonight, it's only you and me…_**

****

****

****

****

I can't explain it but my feelings just changed… I just can't get to the thought that she's free… and I don't have to steal her from anyone. I've lived my life stealing… there's still this Yoko-image that I can't change.

_ "You don't have to change. Do you think she cares?!" _

"No I don't." I replied telepathically.

_ "No one can change you, no one can wash your past and nobody cares…"_

_ "All they have to do is accept who you are now and what we are before."_

_ "And that is what exactly your friends have exactly done. If they didn't, do you think we will let them live and kick right now?"_

I nodded in agreement to myself, I know I can't agree more… the Kitsune… for the first time is right.

_ "We both felt what we haven't felt before… SHE gave us the idea of acquiring happiness and satisfaction in a simple conversation; SHE made us realize that there is more to getting laid with a woman can be just a morsel of happiness to what a real woman is meant to do."_

"Since when did you become so gratifying to anyone?" I tried to mock.

_ "Since she lighted our life."_

"C'mon, we both know how we feel right now. The excitement of stealing her suddenly slowed down. Accept it Kitsune, the feeling is mutual. We don't love her anymore. "

_ "Are you trying to be funny?! Hn. You are such a loser coward."_

_ "I can get used to being an alter-ego for your shameful simple life, I can get used to only appearing when you get pissed off. I can get used to being out of your life completely… but I will never get used of you crying your ass out back to that strange country begging that time would just turn back and give you a chance. We both felt sheer anger when she was kidnapped, got hurt, almost being killed… and getting married."_

_ "We both agreed that this stupid vacation is just a simple façade to see her. Hoping that she still feels the same way for you, as you have for her for years you were aware. The one-night-stands we fail to be part of, the chances to get laid… we have passed that all up just for her…"_

_ "We both know what we REALLY feel. The only stupid problem is we are so into the past, that our claws are too afraid to accept that we have acquired something for free. No sweat. No breaking the rules."_

"Very true. Is that why you distracted me, by pep-talking me, while you control me to come here to Reikai?" I smiled to myself.

_ "I'm leaving this to you… you have the chance. I can't talk to her, because I will never control myself… and end this thing with her hating us for all eternity." _ I can just see him grinning with his lustful look right now.

The kitsune has been the other half that has all the guts, and didn't leave anything for me…. I can't admit it to him though but it's true.

I have to take the chance.

a/n how was it? Just finished my finals… now to hysterical and nervous since I have failed grades… and can't tell it to my parents… (gulp) here without you by three doors down is included in this chapter…. Disclaimer!


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